Deon Opperman

Deon Opperman
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Sunday, 14 April 2013

I’M A WHITE MAN IN AFRICA


I’m a white man in Africa a survivor in the south
we got one man one vote but we live from hand to mouth
apartheid was a fuck up now we free, free at last
but some of us are paying for the sins of the past
they learned their lesson well the anger and the hate
when it comes to revenge it never is too late
it’s the spirit of the age redistribution retribution
reverse apartheid is all the rage - after action affirmative satisfaction

but this continent is cool, a place of plenty, abundant riches
we still believe in witches and treat our wives like bitches
we use cell phones to tape a friendly gang rape
and if you get AIDS spend an hour in the shower
but if it’s HIV drink garlic in your tea
welcome to Africa it’s the coolest place to be

don’t get me wrong I’m happy in this new bureaucracy
the blacks learned from the whites how to do democracy
if they lose the election don’t get an erection
it’s the basic supposition – kill the opposition
ask Robert Mugabe from Zimbabwe
Rwanda Somalia Liberia Ethiopia
Angola Uganda welcome to utopia

our misery is custom made to suit your every need
this place is a paradise with billions to feed
some graft and corruption an occasional disruption
but better than that we’re on our backs flat, check our welcome mat
unexploited mineral wealth enough for a thousand years
and a labor force to mine it with their hopes their dreams their tears

and fuck the bleeding hearts who curse the corporations
economic liberation, without them starvation
come on be rational no-one cares like a multinational
they can help you self-destruct if you got diamonds in the ground
or force-remove your locals if you got oil lying round
in your Swiss account any amount
that’s what World Bank debt is for
and if you still want more they can start a  war
nothing second rate, it will escalate
‘till all your citizens are killing each other
AK47’s for you and your brother
you can run my friend but you cannot hide
the first world will provide
especially genocide

and don’t forget the kindness of our European friends
in fact the list of good deeds is so long it never ends
the pommies and the krauts and the porras and the frogs
thank God they insisted when the heathens resisted
okay there was some slavery and they treated men like dogs
and some random orders moved a shitload of borders
which caused some double bubble toil and trouble
and reduced the continent to ashes and rubble
but they brought education medication conservation
preservation…with just a touch of deprivation
small price to pay for civilization

and besides…the Africans learnt an important lesson –
a civilized man doesn’t bring a spear to a gun fight

you can run my friend but you cannot hide
the first world will provide
especially genocide

but this continent is cooking though it might look tattered and torn
we got elephants and lions and a lot of rhino horn
our poachers are all innocent they just working for the Japs
whose cocks are all so tiny they can’t find them without maps
but hey those pricks got dollars - international currency
hallelujah Mammon and the USA – the gods that keep us free

don’t get me wrong I’m happy, at least I’m still alive
and as long as I don’t argue I reckon I’ll survive
it’s a garden of Eden owned by the ANC
I can say what I like as long as they agree
just ‘cause you can vote doesn’t mean you free
but it does mean you can live in abject poverty
oh say can you see our monopoly

it took a revolution to get this constitution
no-one is rejected all of us protected
the Party is so clever it’s going to rule the roost forever
it’s an African tradition -  we don’t like competition
but we like to trade for international aid so our leaders can get paid
and we like to fight for human rights but go to China to get laid

I’m a white man  in Africa from sixteen fifty-two
I’m stuck here can’t get out,  nothing I can do
I’ve got my dobermans, electric fence, machete and a gun
they’ll get me in the end but ‘till then I’m having fun
I’m a white man in Africa at least I got a tan
I’m feeling pretty lonely ‘cause the rest all cut 'n ran
Perth Sydney London Vancouver Quebec Montreal
they saw the writing on the wall - the colonies will fall
like rats off a ship ‘cause they saw what was coming
there were jujus in the night and they heard the distant drumming
and lucky for them they had the cash so they all ducked
but me?  I’m a white man in Africa…and I’m fucked
then again…aren’t we all.

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